The Swanson Pyramid of Greatness

Yes, it’s not in his office, but doesn’t it deserve to be in your office? This is the epic diagram of all the essential Swanson virtues. Learn and enjoy:

The Only Lifeplan You Need

Watch the original segment here

Ron Swanson’s Office

This is Ron Swanson’s beautiful office. Let’s explore it together.

 

Ron Swanson’s Cook Off Champion Burger Trophy

When Ron and Chris have a burger cook off, Chris goes all fancy and “green,” and Ron goes classic and simple.

“Turkey can never beat cow, Chris, sorry,” Ron Swanson.

In season 7, episode 13, Chris gives Ron a hamburger trophy as a goodbye gift. Ron Swanson says, “I would have preferred a regular hamburger for eating, but this is very nice.”

Ron admires his gorgeous burger trophy

Do I Want One?

Only if you deserve one. Obviously you want an actual burger.

Can I Get One?

It’s tough to find a perfect copy, but a can of spray paint would work very well on this trophy available on Amazon:

Click to get yourself or your loved one a burger trophy!

The Gorilla Statue

In the Season 5 episode “Swing Vote,” Ron beats Leslie at mini-golf in order to get Councilman Jamm’s vote to shut down the government subsidized-mini golf course.
After losing, Leslie decides to punish Ron by setting up a mini golf obstacle in his office. Ron, it turns out, really likes the silver-back gorilla and decides to keep him.

Do I Want One?

In theory, yes, especially if you are an established, respected man who could use the complementary office image catalyst of a wise and strong silverback. Or maybe it would work better on your mini golf course. 

Can I Get One?

Do you really have the room? We could not find this exact gorilla anywhere online (comment below if you have!) but there are a few similar items on Amazon, actually. This is cool:

This amazing work of art stands 3 feet tall and is modeled after the characters in a recent blockbuster film. And you can own it. Oddly enough.

Dartboard (of Hate)

Ron plays darts fairly often in his office, but most infamously, he and Leslie tape a photo of all four living Parks Directors to a dartboard in “Summer Catalog” in Season Two after the four directors turned out to be jerks.

Ron nailing a bullseye on his awesome dartboard

Do I Want One?

This Dart Center looks very similar to Ron’s setup

If you work for the government or have some other useless job, this would be a great addition to your office. You can spend some time getting really good at darts!

Where Can I Get Ron’s Dart Board?

We think this Viper Hudson Collection All-In-One Dart Center looks very similar to the set up in Ron’s office. Perhaps the branding was just removed for the TV show? Regardless, this is a handsome set with the wooden case and all and would look great in your office, most certainly.

The Famous Gold Revolver

When Venezuelan officials come to Pawnee in “Sister City” (S02E05), the Venezuelan General presents Leslie Knope with a gold plated, engraved Smith & Wesson Model 15 with ivory grips. It is said to be a replica of the gun Hugo Chavez used to start the Venezuelan Revolution. Ron Swanson says that although he completely disapproves of the Venezuelan government, he very much likes the gun they gave the city, which he excitedly practices aiming.

Ron Swanson and his famous gold pistol

Do I Need One?

Does Dolly Parton sleep on her back?

Okay But Can I Get One?

On Amazon, airsoft pistols such as this one make an affordable stand-in

If you have no rich Venezuelan rivals to make a gift to you, there are some inexpensive options to get a look-alike. Check out this similar (albeit not identical) airsoft pistol. Keeping this thing in your desk may come in handy sometime. You just never know..